Lily's Love
by Alexandra Romanovna
Summary: The night Harry becomes an orphan, Lily is about to break the news to James that she's pregnant again - this time, with a girl.


Tonight was the night that she was going to tell him.

Times were tough. They had been living in hiding for little more than a year now, their only company other than themselves, being Sirius and Peter. There were occasional scraps of conversations with Dumbledore - though mostly through short and terse letters, carefully worded and sometimes coded.

She knew it was driving James mad. She knew how he worried, how he tried to hide it under flimsy grins and quick kisses, but the light in his eyes was dim and it pained her that as much as she wanted, there wasn't much she could do to help.

She knew he was anxious about Remus. For their own safety, they had to drop all contact with everyone who didn't know about the Fidelius charm, and that included Remus. She knew the way James yearned to pick up his quill and write a quick letter to his friend of old, ask him how he was holding up, if he needed any more money.

But everything was different now. They had to be careful. They had to be cautious.

The Fidelius charm was their best option, and though neither she nor James feared _him, _now there was Harry to think about. Harry. Her bundle of happiness, and her greatest source of distraction in these destitute times. She loved him so dearly, it pained her to think about the circumstances he'd have to grow up in - hiding from a terrible dark wizard, alienated from the rest of their friends and family.

This wasn't the life she wanted for him.

But, she mused, setting her mug down and bringing her hand to her stomach, at least he wouldn't be completely alone growing up.

Harry needed a sibling. James had told her, as they had laid cuddled up on the sofa, him running his hands through her hair as she did the same to their cat, that being an only child was a lonely thing. He wouldn't wish it upon anyone, even if they had a sister as annoying as Petunia.

It had got Lily thinking, and she realized that the burden of being an only child would be even greater upon Harry, who would be starved of social interaction for most of his childhood. Which is why she was overjoyed when she realized the reason behind her odd bout of illness in the recent weeks.

She was pregnant.

And she was going to tell James tonight.

She smiled to herself as she thought about it. She'd put Harry to sleep, and as she'd snuggle next to her husband, she'd quietly tell him that they'd be expecting a girl in nine or so months. His jaw would drop in shock, but then his expression would soften and his eyes would regain that spark that's been missing for almost a year, and he'd embrace her and they would go to sleep, with a little bit of hope in their lives.

She mulled this over as she entered the sitting room, her long, dark red hair falling over her right shoulder as she told James it was time for her to take Harry to bed. She watched with a smile as James scooped their son up and handed him to her.

'Lils-,' he began as soon as he finished stretching, but a sudden creak captured his attention and his expression shifted from a lazy smile to panic in little over a second.

Her heart thundered as he turned to search her eyes with a frantic expression, before his gaze landed on Harry. She turned around and bolted up the stairs, the voice of her husband reverberating through house as he shouted, 'Lily, take Harry and go! Its him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!'

Those were the last words James Potter spoke before he crumpled to the floor as a flash of green light hit him squarely on the chest.

The second of silence was soon shattered by her blood curling scream.

She turned around and ran into the nursery, bolting the door shut and throwing everything she could find in her path, barricading the door. The image of her husband lying spread-eagled on the floor below her still deeply ingrained into her memory. The only living reminder of him being her son nestled in her arms.

Her thoughts came in quick sporadic bursts.

_How did he find them? Where was her wand? Would her she and her son be murdered along with her husband tonight?_

Before she had time to even blink, he was there in front of her, the items she had thrown to block his path lying haphazardly strewn across the room. She dropped Harry into the cot behind her and spread out her arms, shielding him from Voldemort's line of sight.

She had nothing, nothing but Harry, left anymore.

'Not Harry, not Harry,' she found herself pleading, '_please _not Harry!'

'Stand aside, you silly girl...' slithered his venomous voice. His tone hardened when she refused to budge, 'stand aside, _now'_

'Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead-'

_James._

_Save us._

_don't be dead._

'This is my last warning-'

Her efforts redoubled, 'Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy...Not Harry! Not Harry!' _James, please don't be dead. You were supposed to live tonight. You were supposed to kiss me and tell me you'd do anything to protect us as I told you that we were going to have another child - a daughter. But you're dead. And it is my responsibility to protect us now - to protect Harry._

_ 'PLEASE-I'll do anything-'_

'Stand aside- stand aside, girl,' are the last words she hears.


End file.
